Happy Thursday, everyone. I'm Frank Richardson, an organisational psychologist observing the workplace with curiosity and care. Each week, I share insights to help HR leaders better understand the people behind the processes and build cultures where both individuals and organisations can thrive.
This week in workplace whiplash 🌀
Apparently this week we were talking about workplace "situationships", tattoo interviews and weight-loss drugs. HR never disappoints:
💔 Employees say work has become a "situationship"
A new survey found that while most employees aren't planning to quit, many no longer believe their employer is committed to their future. Researchers say the result is a workforce that sticks around for the pay cheque while gradually pulling back on engagement, discretionary effort and long-term commitment.
👉HCA Mag💉 GLP-1s may be reducing sick leave
New research from Denmark suggests employees taking GLP-1 medications took 17% less long-term sick leave, thanks largely to improvements in overall health. It's an early reminder that the value of employee benefits can extend well beyond recruitment and retention, influencing attendance and potentially long-term organisational performance too.
👉HR Brew🖋️ Tattoo for an interview? Really?
A Silicon Valley startup apologised after offering job interviews to candidates willing to get a tattoo at a networking event. The backlash wasn't really about the tattoos. It was about what people will agree to when jobs feel scarce, and the responsibility employers carry when there's an obvious power imbalance.
👉HCA Mag
Reading this week's news reminded me that the biggest misunderstandings at work rarely begin with conflict...
💝 Message from the team
Tell us how It's Not The Work is landing
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A performance review from a few years ago still makes me cringe.
I walked out of the meeting convinced I'd absolutely nailed it. My manager thanked me for my work, talked about my potential and mentioned a couple of areas I could keep developing. I drove home feeling pretty pleased with myself.
A few months later, I missed out on a promotion.
The feedback? I needed to speak up more in meetings, build stronger relationships across the organisation and demonstrate greater leadership. I remember thinking, "Hang on... nobody has ever told me that."
But looking back, they absolutely had. I just hadn't understood the significance of what they were saying at the time.
This week I came across an article in Human Capital Magazine exploring why employees often leave conversations with a completely different understanding to the one their manager intended. It immediately took me back to that performance review because I'd experienced exactly what the researchers were describing.
That experience taught me something I've carried into every leadership role since. False agreement is one of the biggest traps in performance conversations. Two people can leave the same meeting feeling positive while carrying completely different understandings of what was discussed.
🧠The behavioural science lens
Every conversation is filtered through our own experiences, expectations and assumptions:
We consistently overestimate how clearly we've communicated. Psychologists call this the illusion of transparency. Managers arrive at a performance review carrying months of observations, conversations and context. Employees only hear the words spoken in the room, so it's remarkably easy for both people to leave believing they share the same understanding when they're actually carrying two very different stories.
Our brains naturally look for information that confirms what we already believe. If you've spent the past year thinking you're performing well, positive comments feel familiar and reassuring. Developmental feedback often receives less attention, particularly when it's softened with praise or framed as something to think about in the future. By the time a promotion or performance decision arrives, both people are often convinced they had a very different conversation.
Specific examples create shared understanding. The research highlighted in this week's article found that managers often believed they had explained why someone wasn't promoted, while employees felt the reasons had never been clearly communicated. Concrete behavioural examples leave far less room for interpretation than broad comments about potential or leadership.
🚀What this means for leaders
Most employees genuinely want to improve. Clear feedback gives them direction. Vague feedback gives them something to interpret:
Measure conversations by shared understanding. A conversation creates value when both people leave with the same picture of what was discussed and what happens next. Asking someone to summarise the key messages in their own words quickly reveals whether you've achieved that.
Give developmental feedback enough room to breathe. Encouragement builds confidence and deserves a place in every performance conversation. Important developmental messages deserve their own space and concrete examples so employees understand exactly which behaviours will influence future opportunities.
Treat clarity as an investment in someone's career. Promotions, performance reviews and career conversations shape the decisions people make long after the meeting ends. Specific feedback gives employees a genuine opportunity to adjust course while there's still time for it to make a difference.
Have you ever been surprised by feedback you thought you'd never received?
💬 Final thoughts
People leave performance reviews carrying a story about how they're doing. Sometimes it's accurate. Sometimes it's a story they've written themselves.
That's why false agreement is so dangerous. Conversations sound positive, people leave smiling and everyone believes they've understood each other. Months later, someone is surprised by a missed promotion, an unexpected performance review or feedback they swear they've never heard before.
Great leaders make sure people leave carrying the story they intended to tell.
How's the depth of today's edition?
If something here speaks to you, I’d love to hear it.
Until next week,
Frank
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