“Understanding ourselves, navigating the world around us, making sense of others, and recognising the impact we have on them. Because who are we, really, if not shaped by one another?“
Happy Thursday, everyone. I’m Shaida Darian, a Business and Organisational Psychologist. I’m fascinated by three questions: Why does this happen? What can we do about it? And when should we act? Join me down the rabbit hole. With any luck, we’ll find Wonderland.
This week in workplace whiplash 🌀
Your team may rate your leadership differently.
A review of leadership research found that managers’ self-ratings can diverge from how others rate them, with findings varying according to how researchers measured agreement.👉 Read the story: Self–other rating agreement in leadership: A review.
Keeping a straight face can come at a social cost.
People who habitually hid their emotional reactions reported more negative emotion and poorer interpersonal functioning.Emotional skills can be trained.
A workplace meta-analysis found moderate average gains from training in emotional intelligence, empathy or emotion regulation, with benefits still evident beyond three months and substantial variation across studies.
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Thursday reflections
A few months ago, I sat in a steering committee meeting as a manager presented the rollout plan for a supply chain restructuring. He’d rehearsed the slides. A senior logistics supervisor raised her hand. The proposed cutover fell during peak returns season. Switch over then, she explained, and the depots could grind to a halt.
The manager stiffened, smiled tightly and half-closed his laptop.
“We have spent three months debating this strategy, and what we need now is momentum, not second thoughts.”
I’m Shaida Darian, an Organisational and Business Psychologist. What struck me was how quickly a warning about timing became a question of commitment. The committee moved on without examining the risk. It also lost the chance to ask the person who understood the depots what she would change and whether she could lead a test of a different cutover plan.
Which brings me to the question:
“When a challenge feels like resistance, how can managers check their own reaction, hear what their team knows and give someone the opportunity to lead?”
When someone challenges your plan, what is your first instinct?
🧠The organisational psychology lens
When managers put their judgement and reputation behind a plan, questions about it can feel personal. Four domains of emotional intelligence help explain how managers can recognise their reactions and respond more effectively.
Self-awareness: A manager may see themselves as decisive while their team finds them dismissive. In the steering committee, the director treated a concern about timing as opposition to the strategy. His interpretation closed down a discussion the team needed to have.
Self-management: Hiding frustration can still disrupt communication and increase stress for the other person, as experiments have shown.
Reconsidering what a challenge means can change the response. The supervisor might be trying to protect delivery. This habit of reframing situations is associated with better relationships.
Social awareness: Understanding the team starts with checking assumptions. Attentive listening supports trust and creates room for shared thinking. The committee can only benefit from the supervisor’s operational knowledge if she gets the chance to explain it.
Relationship management: What managers believe about people’s potential affects how they develop them. Those who believe people can improve are more willing to coach. Seeing the supervisor’s contribution as evidence of judgement could open a development opportunity.
Training can improve emotional skills, although results vary and study quality is uneven. Feedback typically brings small improvements in subsequent ratings. Progress needs to show up in how managers respond, listen and support others.
🚀What this means for leaders
Put emotional intelligence into practice through how you respond, listen and develop others.
Principle 1. Check your strengths under pressure
Examine: Whether your decisiveness sometimes cuts discussion short.
Act: Use team feedback to check your self-assessment. Add specific examples to your personal SWOT and choose one behaviour to change.
Track: Ask colleagues whether they notice a difference and what still needs work.
Principle 2. Pause before responding to a challenge
Examine: Whether you answer objections before understanding them.
Act: Listen closely enough to test your assumptions. Ask, “What has the plan missed?” and “What happens if we proceed unchanged?” Summarise the concern before responding.
Track: Check whether concerns get a clear response and employees feel heard.
Principle 3. Give good judgement room to grow
Examine: Whether you recognise potential in someone who questions your plan.
Act: Where their workload and goals allow, invite them to lead a small pilot. Agree on authority, resources and success measures. Coach them as they develop.
Track: Assess the results alongside their growing judgement and independence when deciding their next assignment.
💬 Final thoughts
Decisiveness helps an organisation move forward. When it closes scrutiny, it can also accelerate a flawed plan. Emotional intelligence helps managers recognise that moment, examine their reaction and hear what their team knows. The person questioning the cutover date may also have the judgement to lead a better approach.
How's the depth of today's edition?
If something here speaks to you, I’d love to hear it.
Until next week,
Shaida
P.S. A room full of nodding heads tells you the meeting can end. It tells you considerably less about whether the plan will work.
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